Southpaw Jones

You now have 8 days to live your life without CRUELTY!
How shall you spend them?
CD Release Tuesday, July 29 @ Cactus Cafe.

I’m not too worried about the Great Global Depression. If it wants to come, maybe we should just let it come. Maybe it just wants a friend! It seems to me that a massive shift in our economics and lifestyle would result in skinnier, stronger, smarter, humbler, kinder, and possibly happier people. People like my grandparents who know the true value of simple food, water, and shelter. Maybe a bit of rock candy is all kids need for Christmas.

Anyway, if it all comes crashing down, here are some suggestions for places to hide the ol’ bullion. No one will ever find it in these locales:

• Melted into jewelry too tacky to be real
• Butt
• In mouth under porcelain crowns
• Anywhere in the abandoned Wall Street Journal building
• In the exhaust pipe of a Hummer on the side of the highway with a sign that says FREE, PLEASE TAKE.
• Wrapped in a few of your famous chocolate bars, you reclusive eccentric, you
• In the lobby of the George W. Bush Presidential Library
• Covered in U.S. dollars
• Inside Southpaw’s bronze medal from the 1996 Olympics

as reported in The New York Times

July 21, 1908
A BALLOON FREIGHT LINE.
Boston Law Firm Organizes to Establish Aerial Carrying Company.

One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

My first wife was too shy to wave from across the room, but the…

Highlight here for answer: [second beckoned]


World’s Worst Comic Book Museum

You have summoned me in my weakness. You must sustain me by your strength.
Franklin Pierce, Inaugural Address

EVERY DANG THURSDAY
8:00 PM
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 380-0097
www.flipnotics.com
________________________________________________________________

TUESDAY, JULY 29, 2008
Cactus Cafe
The Texas Union, 24th & Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
CD Release Celebration for CRUELTY!
(512) 475-6515
www.utexas.edu/txunion/ae/cactus/index.php