Southpaw Jones

CRUELTY is now available!
Order the CD now at southpawjones.com.
Purchase MP3s at cdbaby.com or .
Grab a copy in real time at Waterloo Records, End of an Ear, or Bookpeople in Austin.
Or buy one from me any Thursday at Flipnotics @ the Triangle.

Austinites! Come on out to Bookpeople tonight for a very unique CD release celebration at 7 pm. As you may remember, I had a release show at the Cactus Café over a month ago, and I had a great time playing all the tunes and putting my digital baby into the world. That’s what you’re supposed to do when you release a CD. But I also wanted to do something different, because I believe CRUELTY is a bit different. It has a lot of words in it, pretty and ugly words that I worked hard on. What better place to celebrate words than the best independent bookstore in Texas?

We’re going to treat CRUELTY like a book tonight, and I’ve invited some old and new friends to provide oral interpretation of the lyrics. Those friends are:

• Amelia Gray
• Ben Bartley
• Brian Kremer
• Idgy Vaughn
• Jaycee Wilemon
• Kristine Kovach
• Laura Lane
• Lindsey Lane
• Maggie Wilhite
• Robin Chotzinoff
• Rudy Ramirez
• Spike Gillespie

Thanks in advance to them for participating. Thanks in advance to you for attending! In addition to the readings, I’ll perform a few songs, and there’ll be FREE St. Arnold beer and snacks!

And now, the question of the day: Am I going to be able to follow this election without having a breakdown or punching my TV?

I’m not sure.

Here’s what I do know: If there’s one thing I hate more than Republican campaign tactics, it is literalism.

Oh, what did big, bad, mean Obama say now?

“You can put lipstick on a pig,” he said to an outbreak of laughter, shouts and raucous applause from his audience, clearly drawing a connection to Palin’s joke. “It’s still a pig. You can wrap an old fish in a piece of paper called change. It’s still going to stink after eight years.”

McCain’s campaign immediately organized a telephone conference call in response and called on Obama to apologize for calling Palin a pig. Obama’s campaign said he wasn’t referring to Palin; he had been talking about McCain immediately before the lipstick comment.

I know these McCain people are supposed to be silly, but aren’t they also supposed to be tough?

When did the Republican Party become a bastion of crocodile tears?

If they are going to take everything literally, The Bible, the flag, even this lipstick phrase that McCain has used in the past, then I demand that they demand that Sarah Palin apologize to herself for this:

“The difference between a hockey mom and a pitbull?” she joked. “Lipstick!”

Sarah Palin! How dare you compare yourself to a dog! You are better than that, and besides, um, you are better than that! At the very least, you are a human being.

I must say, though, a pit bull would make a better president.

Literally.

as reported in The New York Times

September 10, 1908
TESTS CHURCH WELCOMES.
Minister, Disguised as Workingman, Cordially Greeted in All But One.
CHICAGO — To disprove the assertion of the Socialists that the churches only welcome the rich and scorn the workingman, the Rev. John Thompson, pastor of the McCabe M.E. Church, spent his August vacation disguised as a workingman and attending services at nine wealthy churches of the city.

One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

That big cylindrical bag sure is making a lot of annoying noise. Can we deaden that cacophony somehow? Does anyone have a device that…

Highlight here for answer: [muffles duffles]


The Condiment Packet Gallery

One cannot review a bad book without showing off.
W. H. Auden

EVERY DANG THURSDAY
8:00 PM
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 380-0097
www.flipnotics.com
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WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 10, 2008
7:00 pm
Celebrating the lyrics of CRUELTY!
BookPeople
603 N. Lamar
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 472-5050
www.bookpeople.com
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FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 12, 2008
7:00 PM
Five Things Austin
Do512 Lounge
2208. S. Lamar
AUSTIN, TX
Each artist is given an item purchased at a local dollar store (mundane to insane) and a month to craft a 5-10 minute piece (fiction or non-, musical or otherwise) that involves the item as directly or obliquely as the author wishes. The item is then put on display during, or incorporated into the performance. Featuring Owen Egerton, Spike Gillespie, and more!
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SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 22, 2008
9:00 PM (Doors open at 8.)
Matt the Electrician & Southpaw Jones
Anderson Fair
2007 Grant 77006
HOUSTON, TX
713.528.8576
www.andersonfair.com