Southpaw Jones

There are times I wake up in the morning with absolutely no clue what I’m going to include on this site. Not this morning, though. No sirree. I’ve got a ton of facts and opinions that I simply must share, or I’ll turn inside out and flail about.

I realize it will be a long while before July 4 and an even longer while before New Year’s Eve, but it’s never too early to start preparing. Here are six questions for the cashier at the fireworks stand, all containing the word “explode”:

• Are these guaranteed to explode?

• Can I explode these here?

• How far away should I be when I explode these?

• Which of these do you think will explode prettier for the ladies?

• I’m about to explode with excitement; do you think that’s normal?

• Is explode the same thing as former plode or retired plode? I ask because my granddad was a plode.

Thank you. You’re too kind. It’s Monday.

as reported in The New York Times

February 25, 1908
WEDDINGS TOO SHOWY.
Respect Due the Church Lacking, Says Pittsburg Pastor.

One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

I want you to promise this very moment. Swear before another second passes. Give me your solemn…

Highlight here for answer: [vow now]


Hilarious Science Fair Experiments

When a nation’s young men are conservative, its funeral bell is already rung.
Henry Ward Beecher

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