Southpaw Jones

A study found fighting one’s wife
May serve to preserve healthy life
Husbands count too
So if I were you
I’d work up some fresh spousal strife

DB Cooper got away with mad loot
Now some kids may have dug up his ‘chute
But unless that wad
Leads to Coop’s fallen bod
It’s back to the endless pursuit

An ice shelf considered secure
Is suddenly loose and unsure
Because it’s so warm
It may take the form
Of vast rising waters on tour

Democrats are losing their sheen
Just name one your king or your queen!
I now follow sport
‘Cause those games are kept short
One champ will soon rise from sixteen

as reported in The New York Times

March 27, 1908
ROBBER’S HEAD BLOWN OFF.
Dynamite Was Intended to Open the Farmers’ Bank at Springtown, Ark.
GENTRY, Ark., March 26. — In a futile attempt to blow open the safe of the Farmers’ Bank at Springtown early today the head of one of the robbers was blown from his shoulders by an explosion of dynamite. The body of the dead robber was found in the bank near the safe.

One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

Yes, I get the spread for my toast from down by the curb! Don’t judge me! I’m as healthy as you are! You don’t know me! Here, try a pat of my…

Highlight here for answer: [gutter butter]


Modern Products in a Vintage Light

The night is a good counsellor.
Portuguese proverb

EVERY DANG THURSDAY
with Matt the Electrician
8:00 PM
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 380-0097
http://www.flipnotics.com
________________________________________________________________

FRIDAY, MARCH 28, 2008
10:00 PM
Matt the Electrician & Southpaw Jones
The Fairmount
600 W. Magnolia Ave. 76104
FORT WORTH, TX
817.420.9455
thefairmountlive.com
________________________________________________________________

SUNDAY, MARCH 30, 2008
2:00 PM
Spike Gillespie’s Dick Monologues
Hyde Park Theater
AUSTIN, TX
dickmonologues.com