Southpaw Jones

Southpaw Jones presents
Is This Interesting?
Thoughts/feelings that just might not matter:

Jim Gaffigan is one of my favorite comedians these days. His observational comedy, especially his coverage of food and appearance, is the best I’ve seen since one Jerry Seinfeld. You may know him from his Hot Pocket bit, or the fact that he often voices audience thoughts in a quiet, funny voice. Some quotes:
There is the vegetarian Hot Pocket for those of us who don’t want to eat meat, but would still like diarrhea.

Who came up with the robe? Was some guy just like, ‘Hey, I’ve got an idea! Why don’t we make a coat out of a towel? You can have a little belt that goes around. You could dunk the belt in the toilet! Have a toilet belt.’

When ever you are single, all you see are couples, but when ever you are in a couple, all you see are hookers.

Have you ever read a book that changed your life? Me neither.

Anysquarsh, I’ve listened to his CDs, watched him on TV, and quoted his shtick. Since my friend Cole introduced me to his work last year, I’ve hoped to see him live on stage. Well, wouldn’t you know it, he’s coming to Austin in February! Yay, right? Well, hold on, pardner. The tickets start at $36.75. That’s a bit of a sting, you ol’ slag. But wait, there’s a $6.50 service charge. Zoinks! AND a three dollar handling fee! Blam! So that’s $45.25 per ticket, if I score them in advance. But I can’t go alone to see one of my favorite comedians! It all boils down to a $90.50 date, before dinner, before drinks. See for yourself here. I swear to Grayskull, I am not a cheap man, but that number chills my indebted bones.

I had no choice. I had to send an e-mail to the only man who could help, Jim Gaffigan:
Mr. Gaffigan,

$40 for your show in Austin? I’m a struggling musician here! I could score one ticket, sure, but I want my girlfriend to see you, too. Do you have anyone on the guest list yet?

I’ll trade you a solid acoustic CD, I’ll promote the show on my blog/mailing list, and I’ll start the standing ovation, I promise. Thanks for all the gut laughs.

Obnoxious and poor,
Southpaw Jones

And he was gracious enough to write me back:
oh jeez wish i could but thanks for the guilt trip

So I’m just gonna have to plop down a Benjamin so my lady and I can see some pure comedic talent onstage. I suspect I won’t regret it a bit.

Southpaw Jones presents
And Another Thing…
More verbosity with velocity and viscosity:

Another design option for all cafepress.com products. This one features simple black/white with bonus web site promotion! Click ‘em!

Southpaw Jones presents
Quotopia
Freshly-picked quotes from the ol’ reference collection:
Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands? All the rest of you, if you’ll just rattle your jewelry.
John Lennon

Southpaw Jones presents
Online Museum of the Week
www.texacollector.com/blotters.htm” target=new>TEXACO BLOTTERS:

Tom Lamb presents
Steely Dan’s Finest Works
The top ten songs in no particular order:

Deacon Blues - I have no idea how the Alabama Crimson Tide and Donald Fagen’s depression correlate… but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Check it out on .

Thank you, come again!



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