Southpaw Jones

Southpaw Jones presents
Is This Interesting?
Thoughts/feelings that just might not matter:

I am taking the next two days off, my friends. I’ll be heading home to the area of Houston where astronauts supply oil from the moon. Please do come back Monday, and we’ll race down the hill to 2007 together! Before I go, here’s a grand and confusing list of…

Advice in the Year 2006 for Thanksgiving and/or Manx-Giving

1. If your family doesn’t drink or offer alcohol, you may need to start a food fight.

2. You’ll want to put the beast in a well-decorated box.

3. Don’t try to present it by grasping its non-tail, as it will surely scratch you and hop away.

4. Your high school crush will be at the local bar on Thanksgiving night. He/she will offer you sex for money and/or a religious conversion. Accept neither.

5. Tell the recipient to mind the arch in its back. Sensitive.

6. It’s perfectly alright to respond to “I love you” with “Why?”

7. Mashed potatoes are not to be joked about, only eaten with orgasmic glee.

8. Give it in the first year, and you can still call it a kitten.

9. You can always tell who’s winning a power struggle, ’cause they’ll say, “We have to stop this power struggle.”

10. Don’t ask me what I want for Christmas. I still don’t know.

Southpaw Jones presents
And Another Thing…
More verbosity with velocity and viscosity:

Now, seriously, here are some things for which I’m thankful:

The Southpaw Jones Fun Time Gazette and all its readers! I started it back in August, and it just gets more fun. Yesterday, we had a record number of visits: 235! I hope to get that number up to 1,000 next year.

My family. They make me feel like a cool, rebellious black sheep even though I’m a pretty boring, good kid. Bah! Bleat!

I’m thankful for my girlfriend, Maggie. I do my best Superman impression for everyone else, but she has to deal with my fat, four-eyed Clark Kent. God bless her. She’s a manx.

My friends, old and new. Back when popularity mattered in school, I couldn’t get a lick of it, but here in adulthood, I feel like I know a ton of great people. I’ve lived in four places, and I have trouble keeping up with everyone, but my best friends are the ones who warm me up within 5 minutes of reuniting. You know who you are. Thanks for existing, y’all.

My new job. Thanks to Tom and Zach for scoring that for me.

Wednesday nights at Café Mundi. Going on four years of weekly shows with Matt the Electrician, and we’re about to release our live CD to prove it! Woo!

My management team: Spike Gillespie and Bill Passalacqua. Combo Plate Booking. Living in South Austin, Barton Springs, my apartment, fellow artists, C-Dar Fevar, the Alamo Drafthouse, Flipnotics, Ruta Maya, Cactus Cafe, Anderson Fair, Netflix, chocolate, coffee, wine, breakfast tacos, rainless camping trips, the blogosphere, home hair clippers, harmonicas, chips & salsa, Garageband, cash money, the hive brain, long hot showers, They Might Be Giants, fingernails on the back of my neck, Stella, lava lamps, Mario Golf, kissing, and last but not least, SNACKS.

It’s a good life. Embarrassingly so. Happy Thanksgiving!

Southpaw Jones presents
Online Museum of the Week
www.texacollector.com/blotters.htm” target=new>TEXACO BLOTTERS:

Southpaw Jones presents
Quotopia
Freshly-picked quotes from the ol’ reference collection:
The Pilgrims made seven times more graves than huts. No Americans have been more impoverished than these who, nevertheless, set aside a day of thanksgiving.
H. U. Westermayer

Tom Lamb presents
Steely Dan’s Finest Works
The top ten songs in no particular order:

Rikki Don’t Lose That Number - weirdest scale gotten away with in popular music, most recognizable intro to a song I can think of. Sweet ass key changing goodness. This might be the most perfect song on the face of the earth to me.

Check it out on .

Thank you, come again!



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