Southpaw Jones

You Don’t Know Why You Hate Hillary

December 05, 2007 By: Southpaw Jones Category: Interesting?

The older I get, the more I hate politics. I used to believe in the possibility, the hope of our system, but I’m too old for that now. Striving for decent progress in America is like running a 3-legged race with your catatonic third cousin at a family reunion.

You say, “Let’s go, America! Let’s excel!” But Americans would rather eat pork rinds and blow stuff up than explore and expand any horizons.

In addition to eating pork rinds and blowing stuff up, Americans love to hate Hillary Clinton. Consistently. Irrationally. With fervor.

[Let me clarify what I think of ALL the candidates: They are psychopaths. They are carnies. They are professional wrestlers. You have to be some kind of mental case to want to be the leader of the free world. Your mommy did quite a number on you, if you will. As citizens, we can only hope to get a relatively benevolent psychopath, like the lovely William Jefferson Clinton. He went crazy with his penis, not his military. Yes, I intend to vote, but I’ll do so with the knowledge that I’m voting for some loon.]

Hillary Clinton is operating out of a very tiny box, because the media, the system, and the public have forced her into it.

They call her cold and calculating, but if she said anything bold and daring, she’d instantly be labeled “a wild woman in flux” or a “head-in-the-clouds hippie drunk off the fumes of power.”

They want her to be experienced but not political. They want her to be smart but not calculating. They want her to be anti-war but not weak. Feminine but not emotional. Separate from Bill but not divorced. Confident but not cocky. Different from Bush but not too hard on our retard-in-charge.

Hillary has been fighting republicans and the media for decades. She can’t be a normal, warm, cuddly, cookie-making human being anymore. American turned her into what she is: a monster and the first woman with a serious chance to be our president.

I would call her our frankenstein, but Mitt Romney is the one who looks the part.

One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

That Duke girl with the short shorts is really letting herself go. She just sits around the house all day watching reruns of her own show. Everybody calls her…

Highlight here for answer: [lazy Daisy]

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