Southpaw Jones

You give love a Thursday.

July 19, 2007 By: Southpaw Jones Category: Interesting?

Is This Interesting?
Thoughts/feelings that just might not matter:

Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick accused of participating in dog fighting! What is the world coming to?

Atlanta has a football team? I guess I haven’t been keeping up.

Apparently, the nasty, cruel violence of the pooch fights was not what got Vick in trouble. The indictment states that the stronger dogs were given unfair advantages to glide through obedience school.

I just goes to show, you can’t buy off the sick sadist inside yourself, no matter how much money you make. He’s a quarterback, right? Wealthy beyond my wildest dreams, right? Doesn’t he have Tivo? Fine wine? Swimming pools? Movie stars? Georgia peaches?

“That’s all great, Southpaw, but my true passion is organizing bloody, howling fights between pit bulls.”

Ok, well, that’s trashy, Michael Vick. Give them little gloves and teach them to stand for a boxing match, and I’ll pay to see your little backyard show.

Hell, if I had that kind of money, I’d teach cats how to talk, then I’d host Feline Debates in my basement.
Sunday!
Sunday!
SUNDAY!
Tabby versus Siamese, featuring the question, “Can you really know another being intimately?”
Calico versus Maine Coon regarding “Knowledge at Birth: A Little, Nada, or Simply Preset Forms for Dissemination and Storage?”

Thank GOD I have the Trinity Broadcasting Network so I don’t have to watch monsters like Michael Vick play football on Sunday. Do you like the pads, Michael? Do you like the helmet, Michael? Do you like not dying at the end of the game? Frrrrreak.

Ahem. Tonight is the first of two final shows with Matt the Electrician at Café Mundi. That’s right, after next Thursday, we’ll move our pirate circus up to the new Flipnotics location at the Triangle (4600 Guadalupe).

We’ve been performing weekly (sometimes weakly) at Café Mundi for five years. I personally love their commitment to artist freedom, assembly, conversation, stimulants, and grade-A sandwiches. We’ve performed with legends, legumes, and leggings. The on-and-off Song Title Challenge resulted in many fine works and album cuts. We’ve been dive-bombed by kamikaze grackles, feasted upon by mosquitoes, and scrutinized by Macintosh feminists. I will miss all of it. Come on down tonight and/or next Thursday to celebrate and mourn with us. If it was a TV show, we’d show a highlight reel, but it’s LIVE, baby!

Quotopia
Freshly-picked quotes from the ol’ reference collection:

One thing life has taught me: if you are interested, you never have to look for new interests. They come to you. When you are genuinely interested in one thing, it will always lead to something else.
Eleanor Roosevelt, inscribed on his tombstone

Online Museum of the Week
Banned License Plates of New York:

Rhyme Thyme!
One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

That little fancy dog sure can draw casually! Have you seen his latest…
Highlight here for answer: [poodle doodle]

Upcoming Show(s)
Where can I see Southpaw in the flesh?

Thursday, July 19th, 2007
8:00 PM
Matt the Electrician & Southpaw Jones
Cafe Mundi
1704 E. 5th St.
Austin, TX
512-236-8634
http://www.cafemundi.com